Poem - "The Mirror By The Window"

A deep breath taken, from the chest unwinds.
As the cold, angry eyes stare into mine,
Fatigued with pain and beaten into hopelessness.
The deep breaths shorten, unleashing a flood of great distress,

The anger boiling, blood flows like a chaotic river.
I wind up my emotion and sink my hands,
Into the pane, which is now in slivers.
My pain is numbed as I see trickling red bands,
My vision is blurred as my body tensely shivers.
With every attempt I fail, as I force myself to stand
As I slowly gather the pieces of my broken mirror.

I break the image, but I keep the anger,
For revenge or resolution I direly hunger,
Some fault lies within me I cannot deny
But justice, like beauty, is within the beholder’s eye.

A new scenario appears, where the previous one has vanished.
All thoughts of productivity, one by one, were banished,
As my eye fixated upon a world unaffected
By my motion and emotion, which went undetected.

Everything was within the reach of my sight,
Yet, I had seen nothing at all, as my mind wandered.
In a world of color, I saw only white,
And my simple hopes became realistic wonders.
A split second and a flood of light,
Forced me to blink and feel internal thunder,
As my heart stopped in temporary fright.

The frame was real, the image was not.
Realization of the truth, caused my dream to rot.
The deception of the glass, my heart it battered,
As like the mirror this window too, I did shatter.

--- Karup

Poem - "The Lottery"

I have been waiting on line for my name to be callen,

In this rare lottery.

I realize that the man up front, has won by one number chosen,

A number too high for me.

I sigh in depression, that this time I haven't,

won anything for me to see.

I then think that, this time around isn't,

the final drawing you see.

Although i failed in the current,

the future could open new doors with glee.

I then talk to the lotto barren,

Who shuts me down mercilessly.

He says "You know you acted, son,

very wastefully;

You could seriously have won,

if u acted a slight more hastily,

instead of wasting time in

choosing a number carefully."

I cried my eyes out, in rivers the tears run,

As i think about my mistakes with her, lately.

--- Karup

Poem - "Phantom Happiness"

I thought I was Happy,

I was wrong...

Afterwards, I knew I was Happy,

and then it was gone.

--- Karup

Poem - "Dish of Truth"

There was a heavy lacking, of the usual Spring breeze,
It wasn't unusual, for in my eerie world, I didn't have any trees.
Not even did I hear the once regular drone of the bees.
I didn't mind as long as I had water to wade in, up to my knees.
This still nature took a while to get familiar with, I wasn't very pleased.
A world that once had rain, did no longer, and the water would never freeze.

Enough about me; I have something more interesting to discuss than this.
It concerns an interesting find I had in a circle, deep blue abyss.
Small and silver, with fins and a tail, lost eyes and a mouth mimicking a kiss,
It swam around as I took my small bucket, tried to catch it and missed.

I repeated my efforts endlessly, yet I had always managed to fail.
At last! I used all my power and succeeded, capturing it with my pail.
It splashed around with great fervor and at times jumped and flailed.
I never really enjoyed the water; there wasn't enough to swim in or sail.
So I felt jealous of this creature, controlling the water with its scales.
As it circled my bucket in its frenzied bout, my heart felt heavy and stale.

With a great rush of guilt I looked down upon this small, fretful fish.
For each step that I took, I felt more eager to grant its obvious wish.
Being forcefully stopped against something, I found myself in a petri dish.
Overcome with shocking fright I gave the fish the freedom that I now so relished.

(Try to figure this one out, as many never understood the picture I tried to paint)

--- Karup

Poem - "A Corrected Mistake, A Changed Life"

Im sorry baby, for whatever I may have said.

Although it wasn't to you, it was somewhere inside ma head.

I felt like i was overtaken by the evil i had put aside,

but the love i had made me feel greater guilt inside.

I looked forward to see you on the bus,

but i was afraid to talk, unless it was only us.

I made a stupid decision, as i looked at the passing cars,

and thought about my life, and its numerous mental wars.

My homie shadows his pain, by smoking and fighting,

But i only need to see your smile baby.

I made the letter, and named the recipient too,

to my brother jin, whom I thought I only knew,

But he told me how selfish i was, and i got that i was a fool,

but his advice worked, and just as Ivy puts it "he seems cool."

He is the best at life's many experiences, but so are my other friends,

I am the imbecile that doesnt recognize, all these wonderous godsends.

Thinking no one cared, my life was almost finished,

but if i made that mistake, who could give me forgiveness?

Im happy to be thinkin straight after such a long time,

and not killing my self and paying for such a stupid crime.

----

The movie I watched was powerful to you I told,

But not only in the theater, but as my day unfolds,

I realized that god made my night, that of gold,

The day ended great, and fed sweets to my soul,

as i heard that sweet voice, when through off her sweet tongue it rolled.

Talking out one issue, while understanding my role,

as a friend, but as an admirer i behold,

the beauty I see, after which god broke the mold.

Sadly i say, she isnt with me, either young or old,

But I only feel warmth from her, and im glad she never turned cold,

On me, and i say with what glee,

i enjoy being at least a friend to that lady.

It's love as a friend, but the truth must be told

As we saw in the subway wall, u guys said it was corny and old,

that quote about memories leaving but in my heart remains thee,

That isn't bullshit, that's the case with me for you baby.

--- Karup

The Mynd Reader

I like writing what I think. It helps me keep whatever is eating away at my mind, out of my mind, until I feel like it is time for me to let it back into my head. The more I write, the more space I make in my mind, my life, for the better things. It doesn't solve all of life's problems, but hell, it helps.

--- K5